When i was at my doctor yesterday, she told me something that only really hit me today. My psychologist had diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. First i thought nothing about it really. Maybe she was wrong and didn’t know the full aspect of it all.
But it slowly hit me that she was probably right, because you know, she is a doctor.
It has kinda stopped me in my tracks. It feels like i got broken a little bit more inside.
Now i am not saying that having a bipolar disorder is the end of the world. I am saying that i realized what it meant. It meant that i would have to fight with it my whole life. I never know when it will hit again and i will have to watch for it for the rest of my life.
The reason that this is a wall for me is, i have been tired of fighting so many times now. I have giving up so many times now and i just want it to be over. But it will never be over now.
I am saying all of this with very little background knowledge and i am sorry if i am wrong about anything. This is just me talking about how i am feeling right now and the thoughts going through my head.
But right now i am gonna keep trying! This wall will not stay up for ever.
Never stop fighting.